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Laughing Medusas

When I write, it's everything that we don't know we can be that is written out of me, without exclusions, without stipulation, and everything we will be calls us to the unflagging, intoxicating, unappeasable search for love. In one another we will never be lacking. ~Helene Cixous "The Laugh of the Medusa"

Sunday, May 02, 2004

My Desideratum 

I went with him today... shared places and experiences with him that you and I will never share. My skin feels tight from sunburn and salt crystals left behind by the sweat that was flowing off me in streams less that an hour ago. I realize I am in dire need of a shower, and I think of you.

We traveled far today, he and I. Shedding articles of clothing as milestones were passed. It was no surprise that I thought of you in every place I wanted to be held or sneak a kiss. These are intimacies I do not share with him. I relate the scent of my sweat to you, even though it was he who evoked it... so recent and yet already fading. Memories of him dissipate quickly as I create fantasies involving you. My legs still trembling from the exhaustion he induced. Yet, my tired body wants only to find refuge in your arms.

Loneliness sends me in search of company, but perhaps I would be better off alone. I fear these indulgences of desire may prevent me from obtaining what I truly want.

Will you at least let me explain (before) you go?

~Asherah
posted  @ 6:20 PM

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