Laughing Medusas

When I write, it's everything that we don't know we can be that is written out of me, without exclusions, without stipulation, and everything we will be calls us to the unflagging, intoxicating, unappeasable search for love. In one another we will never be lacking. ~Helene Cixous "The Laugh of the Medusa"

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Moving Morosely Through 

how I understand nothing
underestimating a world's weight
that I decided to carry
once upon a time
fearing there is no difference
between this pain and that

surrounds my self deprecation
opting for another answer
fearing I have already failed

I keep it here
contained within
bleach white walls
stained with signs
of simple living
cigarette butts
public radio jazz
nothing more

confined and aligned
with all things morose

- Adetoun
posted  @ 6:44 PM

Why We Had Sex 

I called you because I needed to be held. I asked if that would be okay, if we could just leave it at that – you holding me. I was slightly surprised that you didn’t hesitate to say “Of course.”

So I found my way back to your familiar arms, hoping to find security there. You pulled me close and kissed my hair before whispering “It will be okay, maybe not perfect, but it will be okay.” Only adding “I love you” after a slight pause. I could only nod, so you wouldn’t know I was crying.

I heard your breath quicken. I felt your breasts press into my back with each inhalation. I felt you pull me closer to you. In that moment, I almost left. I almost accused you of not being able to be intimate without sex. I almost failed to realize the truth.

The truth is, you were holding me, just like I asked. You were giving me everything I needed, in spite of your desires. And in that moment I wanted nothing more than to fulfill your desires as willingly as you have always fulfilled my needs.

posted  @ 4:56 AM

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Waking Up to You This Morning 

Even though I wasn't really sleeping
And even though you weren't really here

It felt like I might have been
It felt like you could have been

And you were just calling to tell me
You kissed me gently before you left

But you were afraid since I was sleeping
I wouldn't remember

So you just called to make sure I knew
You kissed me gently before you left

Even though I wasn't really sleeping
And even though you weren't really here

That's how it feels to know
You thought of me this morning

posted  @ 10:47 AM

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Things They Don’t Know 

He is not alone in my thoughts
I am thinking of her
And a him that is not he

I want to know him
I want to hold her
I won't forget him

While I remember his hands
I imagine his tongue
And contemplate her taste

Though my thoughts wander
From his lips to his eyes to her smile
It is the touch of my hand
That I feel tonight


posted  @ 1:27 AM

Monday, March 22, 2004


Somewhere in the darkness
You are whispering my name
Or I am dreaming yours
It resonates the same
posted  @ 4:52 AM


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Lane Bryant