Laughing Medusas

Balance

2004-09-14T21:47:00.000-04:00

There's nothing precarious
About the balance
In which I hang

I have found
Balance
In you

Or rather
With you

And while so much
Hangs in the balance
I'm feeling lucky

Punk

~Asherah

How I Slept

2004-08-30T07:17:00.000-04:00

"How was it?"
She asked me

It being the
Understood
If undeclared
Reference to you

Specifically
You with me
In your bed

"I sleep so well
In his bed."
I answered

As if the sheets
Were smoother
The pillows
Softer
The environment
More conducive
To rest

The lies we tell
Ourselves
And others
Are baldfaced
I realize

As I lay awake
In your smooth sheets
One soft pillow under my head
One soft pillow in my arms
Where you belong

I retract my
Previous statement
I don't
"sleep so well"
in your bed

What I meant was
I sleep so well
In your arms

~Asherah

Any Country, Any Time

2004-08-10T14:43:00.000-04:00
I heard you were an idiot
a fool, a bloody heretic
a man for who a heart's not fit

oh ruler, oh empowered

I don't believe you have no soul
that compassion doesn't soon extol
its blessing on a heart so cold

oh ruler, oh empowered

in fact you are of my race
you occupy this human place
so another conclusion I must face

oh ruler, oh empowered

what sweet sorrow fills my breast
when I understand at your behest
thousands die and thousands rest

oh ruler, oh empowered

that someone of my human kind
could play as if they're dumb and blind
with death warrants by the thousands signed

oh ruler, oh empowered

upon the bank of a foreign river
you who god shall soon deliver
from obfuscation, lies forever

oh ruler, oh empowered

tis not your weapons, swords of might
that help you sleep in dead of night
that morning when we rise and fight!

oh ruler, oh empowered

when upon death's bed you go to lie
a million souls will come to spy
this man who killed and murdered nigh

oh ruler, oh empowered

as the walls come closing in
the death will fall upon next of kin
for how can they escape your din?

oh ruler, oh empowered

history is never "fair"
your story while you're lying there
will be remembered with great despair

oh ruler, oh empowered

when freedom it has loosed our cage
we'll dance upon your rotting grave
no good deeds for your soul to save

oh ruler, oh empowered

-Adetoun

Sensuality Found

2004-08-05T08:53:00.000-04:00
In the damp morning breath of the ocean
Kissing the back of my neck
With the eager anticipation
Of a new lover

In the deep green ivy
Clinging to the bricks
Growing beyond the structure
It has built upon

In the shadow of dark clouds
Not threatening but enticing
Full to bursting... promising
Impending, intense release

In moments of silence
The half second between car alarms
The welcome peace that comes
With unexpected pleasures

I found my sensuality
Here
In the mirror

~Asherah

What You Wear Out

2004-08-05T08:38:00.000-04:00
A dab of gloss
Upon your lips
A slight sashay
With your hips

Hot is an outfit
You wear
Out

Those cute little shoes
Making your legs look just right
Leave you wincing home
Barely able to stay upright

Hot is an outfit
You
Wear Out

The botox injections
Can't lift your sorrow
And even the latest night
Can't fend off tomorrow

Eventually,
Hot is an outfit
That
Wears you out

~Asherah

Where the Honey Drips from the Sky

2004-08-02T20:29:00.000-04:00
(Draft)

Take me to that place
Where the honey drips from the sky

In your arms, in your space
The honey drips from the sky

Show me all there is to see
Open your heart and welcome me

We can watch clouds racing
We can lay content, embracing

Until honey drips from the sky

Anywhere else I'd be frightened
Fortifying the stone wall
That guards my self, my thoughts, my heart
But here with you I want to fall

Like honey
Dripping from your sky

~Asherah

a good start

2004-07-31T22:23:00.000-04:00
comfortable complexity
with
simple synchronicity

~Asherah

Regrets

2004-07-27T11:22:00.000-04:00
thoughts
i can never take back

stains
that never come clean

tears
i can't reclaim

lost
no chance of being found

wounds that may heal
leaving scars that won't fade

pain that i inflict
for which there is no salve

shatters and shards
in my wake

knowing
i will never pay reparations

i'll apologize
but you will feel sorrow

~asherah

Play Me

2004-07-19T17:58:00.000-04:00
lusting, laughing, longing
for
deep, decadent downbeats
with
pulsing, pounding precision
of
rapid, rhythmic romps

the
cadence of your cock

~Asherah

Breathing You In

2004-07-18T10:50:00.000-04:00
I lay beside you and measure my breathing to match yours. I inch my way closer, not wanting to surprise you with my presence. But you expect me, you reach for me, pull me closer. My heart stops and then picks up again with wild, erratic pounding. I have almost slowed my breathing when you kiss me with a tenderness that melts my fears and insecurities. In this moment my world is reduced and expanded to contain only you.

"Remember, I'm new at this," you breathe into my ear, sending shivers to every nerve ending that lies in anticipation of your touch. And though, unlike you, I have been with women before, this is new to me. This sensuality, this tenderness, you... all very new to me.

My hands tremble as I reach for you. I close my eyes and see your face through my fingertips. I learn the way your neck curves to your shoulders with only lips to guide me. Your heart beats powerfully beneath your left breast, your strength manifest beneath the softness of your skin. Your nipple is taut in my mouth as I hold it gently between my teeth and flick my tongue over it. I feel you shudder beneath me. I feel your hands against my back, nails like grappling hooks on my shoulder blades that dig pleasurable canals in my skin as I kiss my way down your stomach.

I look into your eyes and watch them close as I lick the inside of your thigh. Your back arches and I trace the other thigh with my tongue as well. I part your lips with my fingers and breathe in the scent your sex. Intoxicated, I push my tongue inside you and my toes curl as I hear you moan. I place one hand on your stomach and get lost inside you. While I am aware of your fingers, entangled in my hair, your legs tucked under my arms and around my back, and your voice crying out my name - those things are all so far away. I have wandered with my tongue and fingers, into your abyss, exploring the cavern of your sex. I am vaguely aware of your first climax and after easing up a bit, delve hungrily in search of a second and third and more, until you pull me firmly towards your face. Without hesitation, you kiss me, tasting yourself on lips and in my mouth.

"Okay," you whisper hoarsely, "your turn." I gaze at your face, delirious with pleasure and deliciously flushed. I smile as I nuzzle into your neck and place my lips softly on your skin.

"I just took my turn." I murmur before intertwining myself with you. And we sleep like an Escher drawing of legs, arms, and breasts.

~Asherah

Whispers of You

2004-07-14T20:52:00.000-04:00
When the night's quiet creeps in and I have only my thoughts to distract me, I hear them. Whispers, ephemeral shards of you.

My memories are pleasant reassurances on hopeful evenings. My memories are painful ruminations of almost and not quite in hollow twilight hours. I dream of moments that never were. I feel caresses we didn't share. I taste kisses I yearned to take. But I would never steal from you.

The girl you saw in me, the one nobody else believed exists, misses you. She longs to hold you, to take you, to keep you. She dares to dream, but I do not dare to act.

All is not lost, they say.
Your time may yet come, they tempt.

I have neither the strength nor the desire to refute them. Instead I submit to them, as though they were you. They seep into my skin, kiss my troubled thoughts, calm my anxious mind, lead me into dreams.

And I sleep peacefully in their embrace.

~Asherah

The Last

2004-07-13T19:10:00.000-04:00
porcelain teacup on my fingertips
sweet peach upon my lips
I oiled your rough soles
anointing each toe
with a soft little kiss
teardrops making pearls
upon my weary face
you groped in the darkness
to feel the wetness in my eyes
grabbed me so passionately
kissed at the tears
that they might dissipate

coffee handed to me
in the pale morning light
a hand I have come to recognize
a mouth that whispers
"Je t'aime"
into my hot burning ears
when you called upon the heavens
and spoke of us
"until the end of earthly time"
how my heart soared above
my every insecurity
content to be only yours
until the dying breath

- Adetoun

Not What I Intended

2004-07-10T19:01:00.000-04:00
For all my bad intentions
I still sleep alone

Alone with or
Guarded by
My insecurities

~Asherah

Empty Love

2004-07-10T18:56:00.000-04:00
Which came first
the promiscuity
or
the loneliness?

~Asherah

aching

2004-07-07T17:15:00.000-04:00
to be held
for a moment that feels like eternity

to be touched
with a gentle caress

to be kissed
as though your lips may shatter

to feel secure
embraced but not enslaved

to be sensual
in my eyes as well as yours

to be adored
if not loved

aching for a night
like the ones I spent
with you

~Asherah

Candy

2004-06-28T23:38:00.000-04:00
My confection
Sticky and sweet
Spilling down my chin

The taste of you spoils me and
I can no longer return to the
Superficial saccharine of my past

I crave you in your purest form
A bit coarse, raw and unrefined
Dissolving in my mouth

How many licks will it take
To make my tootsie pop?

~Asherah

Falling Madly

2004-06-26T04:03:00.000-04:00
Maybe there is something to falling madly into lust
It's you and me and well you and me and maybe that's just
fine

I'm thinking that I could fall madly into bed with you
And we would fuck and talk, or not talk- that works too

Tomorrow we can chat
About your thoughts, your views, your strains
Or maybe you could just tell me
How to find my way back to the trains
From here...

Maybe there is something to falling madly into lust
It's you and me no clothes but you and me and maybe that's just
All we need

If you want to whisper sweet nothings I would hear
The nothing that you whisper softly in my ear
If you want me to say your name, I suppose I could do that
Remind me one more time, Bob? Joe? Shawn? Oh I'm sorry, Matt

See I'm thinking I could fall
Madly into bed with you
And we could talk and fuck
Or just fuck - what ya wanna do?

You and me
Forget what they say
Let's fall madly.

~Asherah

The Pain Sorrow Forgot

2004-06-24T09:31:00.000-04:00
You called me early this morning
Just to say I was in your dream
And things were like they used to be
But things are never what they seem

You say "We used to be so happy"
But we were bruised, bleeding and battered
You believe I can heal your new wounds
As if the ones I inflicted never mattered

And I know you think you love me
Yes I know you think it's true
But babe you don't really know me
And I'm not gonna teach myself to you

You say you're sorry that you hurt me
And you know this time we'd last
It's just the sadness of your present
Eclipsing the anguish of our past

You remember the days together
You have forgotten the nights alone
I can't force you to remember
You won't learn what I've always known

And I know you think you love me
Yes I know you think it's true
But babe you never really knew me
Even when I taught myself to you

~Asherah

The Truth Is...

2004-06-21T13:41:00.000-04:00
Maybe I don't really know
How to give in, let go, and fall
Sometimes it feels a new beginning
Would be the ending of it all

All of my building
My struggling to survive
I have never really lived
Just fought to stay alive

But my excuses are running out
I'm reasoning with reason spread thin
The ending is already over
And I'm still hesitating to begin

You see timing is everything
I guard fiercely time I could spare
To give an afternoon to you
Afraid I might lose in moments I share

Let me talk it out
I have reasons, excuses for it all
But the truth is, or could be
I'm afraid to give in, let go and fall

~Asherah

Eternal Game of the Sexes

2004-06-21T13:14:00.000-04:00
Into my life
Come
My heart and soul
Won
Upon my lips
Press
To my breast
Caress
Into my eyes
Gaze
To my spirits
Raise
Take my hand
Suck
Lay me down
Fuck
Into my ear
Breathe
Out of my life
Leave

- Adetoun

In My Arms

2004-06-19T22:39:00.000-04:00
I want to curl up behind you
To brush my lips against your neck
Breathe you in
While you sleep
In my arms

My small hand on your chest
Pulling your flesh closer to mine
My cold feet tucked between yours
Siphoning your body heat

I want to nestle into your back
Feel your hair tickle my forehead
Slowly giving into sleep
While you dream
In my arms

~Asherah

Two Dirty Girls, One Dirty Bar

2004-06-10T22:05:00.000-04:00
You're not looking for love
Not in this part of town
You're hoping for a bit of action
A well worth it one night stand

I see you beside the counter
Surveying this seedy bar
Thinking I could go for that
Two dirty girls in a dirty bar

You buy two shots and give me one
Saying "Hey there, what's your name?"
The other girls are watching now
To see how well I'll play your game

I drink what you bought, smile and ask
"Do you really want to know?"
You take your shot, then my hand
"Come to think of it, no."

I follow you through the dirty bar
To the dirty alley on the side
No words, no kisses, no kind gestures
Just dirty fingers deep inside

I wasn't looking for love, you know
Not in this part of town
I came looking for a dirty girl
And come while this dirty girl goes down

~Asherah

My Present to You

2004-06-10T21:54:00.000-04:00
Moments from sleep, I shift for comfort and feel the gentle touch of a woman's hand against my thigh. In the haze of almost asleep I don't attempt to rationalize or understand the soft caress across my skin.

Another hand strokes my breast, just when I desire it, just where I like it. Strong fingers pinch my nipple. Delicate fingers dance up my inner thigh. Teasing fingers flick my clit. Forceful fingers delve inside me, two then one, then two again. One long middle finger rubs my clit, in little circles and I start to moan. The hand from my breast, runs through my hair, tugging just a bit.

I roll to my stomach and grind my hips on the hand that's pressing against my pubic bone, with fingers that massage my clit and occasionally slide deep inside my wet pussy. The other hand grips the pillow beneath my head as my moans evolve into screams.

My muscles tense, my toes curl, my hips buck and as I revel in the pleasure... my hand leaves my thighs in search of my mouth.

~Asherah

inside me

2004-06-09T15:22:00.000-04:00
i see you there
on the outside
tapping at my glass
peering
hands cupped
in hopes
that you will see
inside

inside me

the metaphorical
entwined
however intimately
with the literal
is still
twisted

inside me

lowering walls
i hide in the fog
trembling
amidst the mist

my breasts damp
with sweat and condensation
my thighs moist
with anticipation

can you find your way
through the smoke screens
the labyrinth of my soul

can you find the path
i've paved for you
without a map

can you feel your way
inside

deep inside me

~Asherah

Sensuality Lost

2004-06-05T23:55:00.000-04:00
It's hard to feel sensual here

There are beautiful women everywhere
Much more beautiful than I
They have tiny waists
Tiny hips

I feel out of place
Knowing I don't stand out

Big tits from a small town
Don't draw attention
In a big city
Infested with tiny women

I catch a glimpses of myself
In store windows on the street
And smile
Until I see the women
All around me

I wonder how it would be
To find my sensuality here
In more than a glance

~Asherah

Alliterated Anticipatory Allusions

2004-05-27T03:13:00.000-04:00
tongues tracing tattoos
curves crushing conscience
fingers fleeting flirtations
laughing licking laying
my moist messiah

~Asherah

Progress!

2004-05-25T11:12:00.001-04:00
great mother who bore me
with values, pride and dignity
my heart breaks with the savagery
lying underneath the clay

in untold human misery
laden bare by truthful history
in your past the greatest mystery
is in what they never say

while upon the "noble" faces
are written dark dirty places
the media seldom embraces
these truths that are now known

the anger of rebelliousness
will match your righteous callousness
growing strong and loudly to profess
your seeds of demise are sown

tears of sorrow fill my heart
with every “justice” you impart
in your actions you jump-start
a revolution not seen before

where the tired and weary fill the street
then come in throngs around your feet
and not of air but of concrete
are their plans to settle the score

you claim that these are crazy dreams
this country bursting at the seams
yet history can fill untold reams
of paper with outcomes the same

for born of freedom’s love she was
from tyranny and oppressive laws
and from those tight and clamped shut jaws
her freedom she’ll reclaim

- Adetoun

Whole of You

2004-05-25T11:12:00.000-04:00
to contain you so completely
sealing in the bottle of my mind
every droplet of your sweet river
every globule of dampening sweat
every moan of ecstasy and pleasure
that finds its utterance on your sweet lips
this unadulterated passion
which finds in it nothing more
than the whole of you
locked inside the basest of internal caverns
spilling out in anxious waves of lust
tides of unleashed fury
I mount the steed of this glory
ever onward I ride

- Adetoun

Ballgag

2004-05-25T05:04:00.000-04:00
Why say the things
You think you should,
That you don't really mean.
And I don't want to hear,
Anyway.

Are you incapable of crass silence?

Here.
Hold still.
Let me help you with that.

There.
Now you can say it all.
Whatever you feel obliged to utter.

I can't understand you
And don't have to respond.

Now, I can fuck you in peace.

~Asherah

Moments in Amber

2004-05-18T11:01:00.000-04:00
If that I could capture this moment. Hold us here like bugs in amber. We could be the envy of every Grecian urn, lying here in blissful contentment, thou recently ravished mistress...

Even as I say these things, I know they are not true. Perhaps I can preserve this moment in memory like solidifying sap, that's truly what I want. A snapshot of this feeling to return to at a later date, when I have grown beyond here, beyond now.

The most perfect moment is not enough, if it is all there is. I do not wish for stagnation, even in the form of eternal revelling. I desire more the chance for growth, the uncertainty of change, the pain of tomorrow - for surely it will hurt. All of this compels forward and forces tonight into memory.

Bugs trapped in amber suffocate. I choose instead to breathe.

~Asherah

amy

2004-05-12T04:14:00.000-04:00
Kneeling
before you
in supplication.

My tongue
proclaiming devotion
without uttering a word.

In awe
of the goddess
before me.

Tell me ...
Does your god
run his fingers
through your hair
when you genuflect?

Fingers
gingerly caressing
soft skin,

Trembling
with disbelief,

As the sacred
entwines
the profane.

Adornments shed.

I am unworthy
to pray before you,
to gain entrance here,
at the holiest of holies,
your inner sanctum.

~Asherah

Maelstrom

2004-05-11T10:37:00.000-04:00
There's a certain silence
To your storm
And intensity lurking
Just beyond your calm

Your trembling hands
Betray you
Closer to losing control
Than you're willing to admit

I want to break the reins
That hold you tight
Nudging you gently
Softly to the edge

Let your rising waves
Break against my shoreline
Seize me with your undertow
Drag me to your depths

I will wake exhausted
Not quite sure where I am
Until I feel the sun that is your skin
Warming me

I'll bask in you
For a moment
Before waking the storm
Within you

~Asherah

Shakespeare

2004-05-10T03:38:00.000-04:00
You once promised sonnets on my naked back and Shakespeare in my ear… do you remember?

It seems so far away now. When fantasy was all that existed, it seemed so real. The comfort of this distance, layered miles between us, has been deflating slowly with a gentle hiss that roars deafeningly in my ears.

But all I want to hear is you, whispering Shakespeare.

~Asherah

The Presence of Your Absence

2004-05-09T07:27:00.000-04:00
My busy days
Still lead to empty nights

I cannot exhaust myself
Enough to forget
This loneliness

The presence of your absence

With each sunrise
I wonder if today
You will break your silence

Every night I return
To this...

The presence of your absence

~Asherah

I've been thinking

2004-05-07T16:56:00.000-04:00
I'd like to envelope you in the soft glow of my mornings. The haze of not quite awake enough to think about you next to me... but enough to know your smell, your voice, your body next to mine. I still dream of you almost nightly. I don't share these dreams with you. They're not the ones that make me blush, they're the ones that make me cry.

Imagining impossibilities is comforting... hoping about a possibility that may exist is excruciating.

You're right. I think too much. But I can't quite feel my way. For now I overanalyze and overthink and look forward to thinking of nothing ... feeling only you.

~Asherah

Scotch

2004-05-06T10:39:00.000-04:00
“Scotch is an old man’s drink, and I’ll take mine with water.” Willow’s voice floats from the CD player.

“I think I will do the same.” I say to myself as much as to the stereo, settling in to my burgundy leather recliner. I used to drink without a chaser, without a mixer, without dilution. Tonight though, I protect my mouth from the full flavor of the drink. The water serving as a level of insulation from something too potent for me to attempt neat. Every drink has been too potent lately.

Thoughts scamper across my mind, and I watch them. Not really discerning one from the next unless they collide. Even then, it is only to see if they merge into one, explode into shards, or simply disintegrate. One thought hovers on the edge, hiding in the shadows. For the first time, I invite it to the foreground and admit it to myself - she is not returning. It’s as though the proverbial light bulb has come on inside my head and the roaches, my inconsequential thoughts, scatter.

I shut my eyes tight against direct light of this epiphany but it still hurts. Opening my eyes slowly, I find I am staring at a small, framed bible quote my mother made for me when I first moved out. “My cup runneth over…” is printed in calligraphy above a rather busty woman.

I look at my cup, and am disgusted by the diluted contents. I empty my cup down the sink and pour the last of the bottle in at full strength. The first sip burns my throat, now unused to the harsh reality of a drink not softened by the rocks.

I realize the song I have been listening to is ending, just in time to hear, “Water’s a lonely drink and so, I’ll just take scotch.”

~Asherah

Writings of the Restless Mind - Part 1

2004-05-05T10:51:00.000-04:00
A deserted highway somewhere between California, New Mexico and Utah with crystalline yet timidly pale blue skies is where she often found herself. Sometime between mid-afternoon and when the sun sets across the front of the bug splattered windshield, where only sunglasses can save you from the gorgeous ball of fire intent on blocking your vision as you drive further west. Upon stepping out of the vehicle at some dusty desert gas station, the sweet smell of gasoline filling her senses mixing with the dry heat, she extracts her credit card, carefully slipping it into the worn slot on the pump and pulling it back out again in one smooth motion. LIFT LEVER read the digitized letters on the gray screen. She followed the instructions automatically, as though part of the machine itself, having done so thousands of times before. There was always something inherently male about grabbing the nozzle and hoisting it into its awaiting hungry receiver, squeezing the trigger as though it were a weapon, to release the gush of latent chemicals. A small stream of vapors escaped through the opening between the nozzle and tank reminding her of the mirage on the road 20 miles back, looking like a pool of fresh, cool water in the midst of sand and joshua trees. She remembered further back to the first time she was on I-15 with her family as a small child, staring in disbelief as her father described that what they saw up ahead was not water, but a reflection of the sky. Not believing him at first she stared intently at the upcoming puddle in an attempt to prove him wrong. Her heart seized briefly in a mild shock as it slowly disappeared the closer the car came to it. A smile broke across her face as the numbers on the screen climbed higher and she shook her head at the memory of previous ignorance. How odd was it really to believe that such a thing, that appeared to be so real and sparkling, couldn’t possibly be a false image? It must be a grand metaphor for life itself she thought, nearly laughing out loud at this revelation as the pump neared twenty-five dollars.

She started up from the desk as the phone rang in the familiar fashion, its high pitched double tones breaking into her daydream like an iceman’s pickaxe. She was so suddenly ripped away from the serenity of desert skies that she cursed before lifting the receiver from its holding place among scattered papers and an empty encrusted coffee mug. The droning voice on the other end of the line made her eyes burn with boredom, some financial gibberish spilling out of the black machine. The sun glared in onto the screen of her pale white monitor making it impossible to make out any of the useless information contained within. While the sunlight that reflected off of the gray building across the street was something of her only bit of solace, she knew it was necessary to shut the blinds, thus blocking out any bit of brilliance that remained in the still young day.

An uneasiness set in across her mind, brows furrowed in concentration as she typed out her bosses request into the format of an e-mail. Something was definitely missing, but was this her calling, destiny? How many co-workers had seemingly accepted their fate, happy to appease the boss, go about their daily routines and get so wrapped up into every intricate detail that it seemed nothing outside of the tiny office mattered? She figured she was smarter than that, though some of her co-workers may have said “naïve” would be a more proper term.

Everything seemed so fruitless in the context of what had transpired since her arrival at her position. Three thousand people had died only a few short blocks away on a day like any. Tip-tapping out their financial reports, fretting about some insignificant bill that had to be paid on the way to work, having no clue the fate that awaited them. How utterly insignificant everything related to the hum-drum day to day appeared when compared to something of that magnitude! No one seemed to think of those things, only how it was a great tragedy due to the loss of life. Did people realize that a tragedy was playing its hand every day for the thousands of people living in the nine to five world, walking up and down doorless hallways, back and forth until they collapsed? How many years of life were lost everyday in the financial district of Manhattan alone? She was reminded of a story of a man a few offices over who had worked at the company for 20 years. He simply came in one day and collapsed, right in his chair. His dreams of retirement, of finally truly living one day, of driving across beautiful landscapes, taking in nature’s glorious scenes were all dashed in an instant. All of the things he never did but was “going to do” laying out as a tragic legacy upon his memory. Dying on the job, the ultimate sacrifice. What was it? Had it been too many lectures from the boss? Too many “ASAP” notes scribbled by anonymous secretaries on pale yellow Post-it sticky notes? The dollars accumulated by the firm were made off of the heap of employees thrown upon the corporate fires which burned away their independence, creativity, and intelligence. They would all speak of what a gracious and wonderful company man he had been, even as the smell of his burning flesh loomed above the office in a rank stench. The next Monday, they hired his replacement.

- Adetoun

Rugburns

2004-05-04T10:37:00.000-04:00
I move stiffly through the day
Hindered by reminders of you
Arriving in my driveway
As I was just about to sleep

I let you in my house
And deep inside of me
Without hesitation
Right there in the front room
The door slightly ajar

You left me exhausted
Quickly, always so quickly
As only you can

I didn't even turn to say goodbye

I woke naked
Sprawled on the floor
Face down where you left me
The door still slightly ajar

I thought perhaps I made this up
A story crafted while touching myself

That wouldn't quite explain the rugburns

~Asherah

Pride

2004-05-03T10:12:00.000-04:00
Sometimes it has been all I had left
More often it has been my downfall

I stand bleeding
Wondering
I could show these wounds
And pray that you'll kiss me healed
Or dress them discreetly
As I quietly walk away

The force of your
Perceived indifference &
Apparent apathy
Knocks the wind out of me

I drop to the floor
Paralyzed by the lack of oxygen
Paralyzed by the recent lack of you
Gasping for either

I know that I alone will lick these wounds
I just wish I knew if you could see them
From where you sit inflicting them

~Asherah

My Desideratum

2004-05-02T18:20:00.000-04:00
I went with him today... shared places and experiences with him that you and I will never share. My skin feels tight from sunburn and salt crystals left behind by the sweat that was flowing off me in streams less that an hour ago. I realize I am in dire need of a shower, and I think of you.

We traveled far today, he and I. Shedding articles of clothing as milestones were passed. It was no surprise that I thought of you in every place I wanted to be held or sneak a kiss. These are intimacies I do not share with him. I relate the scent of my sweat to you, even though it was he who evoked it... so recent and yet already fading. Memories of him dissipate quickly as I create fantasies involving you. My legs still trembling from the exhaustion he induced. Yet, my tired body wants only to find refuge in your arms.

Loneliness sends me in search of company, but perhaps I would be better off alone. I fear these indulgences of desire may prevent me from obtaining what I truly want.

Will you at least let me explain (before) you go?

~Asherah

My Perfect Stranger

2004-05-01T09:33:00.000-04:00
There will be a day when I know how you smell and I can no longer pretend it's of my favorite cologne. After I know that, I will get a chance to see you truly upset. You can't keep your composure at all times. Eventually you will break... you'll yell, or tremble, or cry. Maybe all of that and more.

How I anticipate the breakdown of any remaining facades. I want you naked... literally and metaphorically naked... within my view, my reach, my future. I know that I have envisioned you perfect from this distance and I can barely wait for you to prove me wrong.

Once I know you're not perfect, you'll no longer be a stranger.

~Asherah

It's Always Hot With Us

2004-05-01T09:31:00.000-04:00
The candles burn themselves out, but this flame will not extinguish.

You misunderstood when you thought I read in the early morning hours before you woke. I do not read in these hours, I write. I write how it feels to wonder if you are being gentle for me or for you. I write my desire to feel my lips bruised from the pressure of your kiss. I write the fantasies of your skin against mine, having just left yours behind the door.

I know, I know, I should wake you. I should take you in my mouth and let you wake to warmth and moisture. But what I really want is to sleep in your arms. I want to still be sleeping when you wake. I long to awake to you between my legs… your cock, your tongue, your fingers… anything. Just to wake up knowing that you could not stay there next to me, without touching me.

That’s why I am in the other room you know. I cannot lay next you and not touch you. I am here to let you sleep, for that reason alone. I cannot forget that be it early or late… near or far… real or imagined… it’s always hot with you.

So I’m in the other room, hoping you’ll wake soon. Just so much as a stir and I’ll be next to you again. Reminding you that it’s always hot when it’s with me.

~Asherah

Can't Seem to Finish What I've Started

2004-04-28T05:44:00.000-04:00
You thought I was kidding when I told you I wanted to tie you to my bedposts. You playfully agreed to wear a ballgag, assuming a girl like me wouldn’t really have something like that, especially not waiting in the nightstand. That’s why I made sure the tethers were in place before I brought out the ballgag and secured it in your surprised mouth. You didn’t realize my tethers came in a set of four and weren’t quite expecting to look as though you were about to be drawn and quartered on my bed. There’s apprehension in your eyes and I think I like it.

“Are you sure you don’t want a safe word?” I ask, smirking, and you nod in response. “At least say ‘stop’ once so I know what it sounds like with that in your mouth.” You shake your head, no. “Fine, not my fault if you are left with permanent damage then,” and the conversation for the night is ended.

I stand up and turn the lights out, knowing that my eyes will adjust to the darkness much better than yours. It helps that I made sure you weren’t wearing your glasses or contacts. I also have the advantage that this is my room. I know exactly where I left the candles and the matches. I pretend to fumble in the nightstand looking for them and hear you gasp as the feather I have in my hand brushes lightly against the inside of your thigh. I place the feather down, out of your sight before striking a match and lighting the cylindrical, black candle in my hand. I leave it burning on the nightstand and pick up the massage oil next to it.

The scent of peach fills the air as I pour a small pool of the oil into my palm and then rub my hands together before smearing them over your chest. You keep your eyes on me, just watching. I straddle your waist, hold the bottle of massage oil above me and squeeze… the oil squirts onto me in a clear stream just below my collarbone and drips down my breasts. Even with the red rubber ball in your mouth, the corners of your lips creep up, betraying a smile, as I rub the oil in my own skin. I’ve purposely used too much oil and my skin shimmers in the candlelight. I lean past you for the candle and let my tits dangle, gleaming just above your face.

As I sit up straight again, I run one hand down your chest to see if your skin has absorbed all the oil, and smile as I feel you, slick beneath my palm. I hold the candle in my other hand, lift my hand from your chest to dip my fingertips in the melted wax, and lightly caress your face while the wax is still warm. You close your eyes as I touch your face.

So peaceful, so content, so still… hot wax drips onto your right nipple and your eyes snap open as you emit a muffled, involuntary cry. I drip hot wax on your left nipple while you watch. You flinch a little, but remain quiet this time. I grin, but say nothing as I pour the remaining melted wax on your sternum. Some of it runs down you, forming warm estuaries that stop short of the sheets, just barely. I drag a finger lazily through the wax that hasn’t solidified quite yet…

~Asherah

She Dances

2004-04-27T03:40:00.000-04:00
In and out of my mind
From my dreams to your sheets
With or without costume
Always lacking inhibitions

If I could just share her with you

She dances

With the shadows
Through the haze of incense
Across the floor
Into your lap

If I could just meld with her

She dances

Peeling off insecurities
With unnecessary clothing
Discarding fears and hesitations
Knowing her pleasure is your pleasure

She dances

And I hope
To still be her
When I wake

~Asherah

Moist Skin Warm Breath Fantasies

2004-04-26T01:39:00.000-04:00
One rivulet of sweat
Meanders slowly

Finding the path of least resistance
Between my breasts

Leaving a salty trail
For your tongue to follow

Dancing its way
To the desired denouement

My moist skin
Your warm breath

These fantasies I have
Still damp from the bath

~Asherah

Better This Way

2004-04-24T03:27:00.000-04:00
___________________

I sleep better this way

When your voice
Caresses me
And my lullaby
Is your gentle whisper

I wake better this way

When your voice
Stirs me
And my coffee
Is your subtle accent

~Asherah

Hopeful Memories

2004-04-21T18:51:00.000-04:00
I don’t know how we got here, that’s the beauty of dreams. I can skip the time we must have spent with small talk and slight innuendos… testing the waters of this evening. Instead, my mind takes me to here, to now. I stand facing my bed, still wearing jeans and a t-shirt I think may be a bit too tight. I’m looking for the tea light candles to light, so I can turn off the light when I feel your hands on my hips. You lean forward, into me and knees weaken as your hands slide up my stomach and cup my breasts. Your breath is hot behind my ear and I can feel the hardness of your cock through my clothes and yours.

“Leave the lights, all of them.” You whisper into my ear and pull me close with one hand still on my breast and the other undoing my pants. I want to protest, but my nipples are hard, I’m already wet and my desire to feel you against and inside me overrides this body shyness. I turn to face you and wrap my arms around your shoulders. The thought of reaching for the light switch finds me a slight moment before you run both hands up my arms, grasp my wrists and say “Don’t even think about it.”

“Of course not,” I smile as you run your hands down the sides of my body. When your hands reach my hips I pull my shirt off over my head, then place my hands atop yours and slide my jeans to the floor. I leave your hands on me and slip mine under your shirt, tickling you a little before pulling it off you. I reach for your pants and realize I’ve never undressed you before. I pause to rub your shoulders and trace paths across your chest and stomach with my fingertips. You scoop my tits out of the bra cups, without removing the bra and begin to run one thumb across each nipple and a startled moan escapes my lips as you pinch them. Your tongue moves achingly slow down my neck and I undo your pants and slid my hand down the front of them. I cup your balls gently in my hand for a moment before encircling my hand around your cock and tugging it gently towards me, only a couple times before sliding both hands to your hips.

I turn us around so your back is to the bed and I am facing you, before pushing you playfully onto the bed and pulling your pants and boxers off. I take off my bra and panties and stand naked in front of you, staring at your naked body on my bed. You look surprised as I straddle you right away and slide your cock deep inside me. Maybe you think I plan on just fucking you like this and leaving it at that. Maybe you’re surprised I’m as wet as I am already. You look equally surprised when I unstraddle you, kneel on the floor in front of you and take you in my mouth, just to taste myself on you. You run my fingers through my hair, keeping it out of my face as I suck you and run one hand up your stomach, the other holding your cock.

You pull me up for a kiss and slide your fingers inside me. I pull you close and bite your ear, knowing full well that all semblances I may have had of being in control this time is gone, once your hand finds its way between my thighs and inside me. Your fingers dance across my clit, and you r other hand is one my lower back pulling me towards you. My vision blurs and I feel the sweat drenching my back. I am gasping for air, coming in waves of pleasure, clinging to you as my muscles contract and release just enough to leave me quivering beneath your touch.

You finally bring your trembling hands to my face and I close my eyes as I lick my own juices from your fingers. My entire body tingles and shivers, I am helpless in this moment of delirious exhaustion and yet my nipples harden with excitement as I feel your cock enter me. I am always surprised at how deep you penetrate me, at the delicious feeling of my body stretching in attempt to accommodate you. I wrap my legs around your waist and my arms around your legs to pull you all the way inside me with each thrust, dancing on the thin line connecting pleasure and pain.

“Too much?” you ask as I wince slightly. “Uh-uh, no,” I exhale. “You sure?” you ask again, slowing a bit. I grab your ass with both hands and pull you towards my while thrusting my hips to meet you, stare directly into your eyes and demand, “Fuck me, now, hard, and fast. Just fuck me.” I think you may have said something else, but I don’t remember. I remember the painful pleasure of your cock slamming into me. I remember the orgasm that tore through me like a lightening bolt. I remember opening my eyes in time to see ecstasy contort your face. I remember smiling at the thought of the exquisite soreness I would feel in the morning, just moment before passing out exhausted, in your arms.

~Asherah

The Sculpture

2004-04-20T20:19:00.000-04:00
beauty cannot recall ever owning
such a fine vessel
in which to contain itself
as is found
in your earnest crystalline gaze

the profile of David
beholding a Van Gogh
recalling nights of Rodin
peering out to a Monet landscape
walking among the children of Gauguin

all the glorious works
that cause my heart to soar
my pulse to quicken
I must refrain from the desire to touch
for fear they'd lose their eternal luster

yet my hand's favorite figure
is perfectly in reach
waiting to be hewn anew
into a composition not yet known
upon which I add my daubs of clay

- Adetoun

Mourning in South Station

2004-04-20T20:18:00.000-04:00
the damned lovely breeze
that tenderly played with your jacket
crawled up my chest
and took my heart along on its
whispy trails
threw me onto
the metallic beast
where I wept in the pale light
of morning in South Station

- Adetoun

good morning: a haiku

2004-04-19T02:14:00.000-04:00
the sound of your smile
scent of falling rain outside
stirring me from sleep

~Asherah

Your Return

2004-04-15T10:35:00.000-04:00
I woke to a soft caress this morning, fingertips lightly brushing against my shoulder. I could smell that scent that is distinctly you, a mix of your sweat and cologne, the smell that took three washings to remove from my sheets and still lingers on my comforter. I turned to face you, grateful that you had found your way back to my bed. Anticipating your arms, your skin, your mouth against me, I turned to face you and rolled into that familiar ache of emptiness when I saw nothing and realized that even the touch of my hand in the morning evokes memories of you.

~Asherah

Ranee

2004-04-13T07:34:00.000-04:00
the door is open
i want to shove you off
your crying perch
the bars that confine you
are nothing when there is
an undone latch

jump and fall
the wind will catch you
along with the sobbing sparrows
and the flirtatious finch
pick up your life
care for yourself as a new born babe
merely sustained by a mother's love
soar above the petty failings
the misgivings and drudgery of
the vermin below

for they know nothing
of that which you contain
oh make the latent
into glorious kinetic
run your new born fingers
across the landscape of the globe
taste the flavors of the sweetest juice
it is all any can do

you have some 30 odd years
to glide at the peak of humanity
there is no pain, no sorrow
that should keep one from jumping
In looking back, want nothing for regret
and keep all for cherished memory

the sky is waiting Ranee
loose the chains
kick off the cage
and fly

- Adetoun

The Dogs

2004-04-13T07:32:00.000-04:00
some years of revolution
still swimming in my head
at books all filled with dogma
the father long since dead
states and planes and dreams
of apocalypse made real
the strong thrust of mortality
knipping at my heel

keep back you dogs of insolence
you know not what you chase
i'll outrun you lazy mongrels
as you strive to keep apace
in a dying hope for freedom
i lay my weapons down
for none on earth shall need them
when a key to peace is found

for nothing is so stenchful
than the blinding binds of hate
which makes all souls revengeful
and calls them to their fate
so chase me on you canines
I fear not your lusty jowls
go catch those other bastards
who ignore the children's howls

- Adetoun

Looking Back

2004-04-12T18:38:00.000-04:00
When I remember my past loves, I do not remember the the things they were most proud of... I remember instead the scar on his chin he tried to hide with a goatee, the soft layer of baby fat that made her soft and pliable in my hands, the way her left breast hung just a little heavier than the right, the dark hair on his chest and stomach he vowed to have waxed when he had the extra cash, the way she would sometimes snort when she laughed, the moles that dotted his back, the fact he could never remember that my doorknob turns the wrong way. The things that made them human are the things that made me love them and the things I will always remember.

~Asherah

Succubus

2004-04-12T00:43:00.000-04:00
I am the one you cannot help but come to
even when you know you shouldn't
even when your honeymoon wasn't quite over
even when your wife begged you not to
even when she offered to do the things I do for you
even when she blamed herself
even when she knew your disgust was with yourself and not her
even when she threatened to leave
even when she left, pleading that if you would stay with her - she would stay with you
even when she came back because she couldn't live without you
even when she said she'd rather die than live like this

even now
as she lays in the bath her life flowing out of her filling the tub, wondering why she was never enough, knowing it was not your fault and believing that somehow she could have prevented it all

~Asherah

Moments Before Falling Asleep

2004-04-10T03:26:00.000-04:00
I feel the breath I've only heard.
I taste the lips I've only dreamed.
I know the love I doubt exists.
I have you.

~Asherah

Abyss

2004-04-09T15:22:00.000-04:00
She encompassed all shades and hues of black. She inhabited the periphery of existence and most of the time, she remained unnoticed. I saw her first, as a glimmer. I am not sure, even in retrospect what it was that dove out of the darkness, barely beyond my field of vision. I felt that there was something to see, more than I actually saw anything, and turned to face her. I couldn’t see her. Instead, I saw where the black shade of the forest became silky and supple. I saw the iridescent reflection of a scale; knew it was feathery to the touch, simultaneously razor-sharp and I needed to caress it.

She did not move out of the obscurity of shadow, but her silhouette appeared as the shadow retreated in a ripple motion. She had neither scales nor feathers in this light, and I needed to caress her. Creamy, nearly transparent skin was stretched gently over every bone and muscle mass she carried with her. She had eyes the color of every root beer flavored popsicle that had melted down my chin as a child. And without uttering a sound she spoke to me.

In that moment I was hers, because she had chosen me.

~Asherah

Purr

2004-04-07T21:19:00.000-04:00
Your sleek design contrasts my full breasts and fuller hips. I soften your angles with my curves. Your tough outer shell, melting beneath my mouth, tasting your softer side, delving deep into the femininity you try so hard to hide. Your thick skin, slick and sweet beneath my fingers. Your calloused heart supple in my palm.

Let go of the rage, stop fighting the fight for a moment. Just long enough to lose yourself in the safety of my arms. I know you're strong, I know you're tough. But just for once, let me love you gentle.

We've growled against the system all day... tonight, I just want to make my baby purr.

~Asherah

One-Sided

2004-04-05T22:20:00.000-04:00
I want this

More than I wanted to
More than I care to

More than you

~Asherah

Poetic Justice

2004-04-05T02:13:00.000-04:00
(A Revision of "Never Trusted Poets")

I’ve never trusted poets

Their words
Always too intense
Too melodramatic
To be true

Poets cannot separate
What they write from
Who they are

They are zealots
Writing
What they cannot endure
Yet claim to know

But no one can feel
That strong
All the time
I just don’t buy it

So I’ve never trusted poets

But I trust you
Either you are not a poet
Or I am caught
Trusting a poet

(And there’s no denying
That you are a poet
It was tattooed upon your soul
Long before you had it inked upon your body)

So that leaves me here
Vulnerable and yet
Unafraid

Trusting you

~Asherah

All I Ever Wanted

2004-04-04T05:39:00.000-04:00
Finally
I can
Touch you
Hold you
Taste you

Me... you

The intrigue
(Eternal)
Has faded

The desire
(Unquenchable)
Has passed

You're all I ever wanted
And even you
Are not enough
Tonight

~Asherah

I Dreamed I had Awoken in Your Arms

2004-04-01T01:12:00.000-05:00
I dreamed I had awoken in your arms. You were still sleeping - so peaceful, so content. I just wanted to touch your face. To close my eyes and memorize how you feel beneath my fingertips. I was going to let you sleep so my hands only wandered down your neck and shoulders, then the length of your arm. I took your hand in mine and brought it to my lips.

I kissed your fingers, on which my scent still lingered from the night before. Memories, as random disconnected images, flooded my mind. I heard your voice whispering poetry softly in my ear and felt my nipples harden from the gentle breeze of your words. I tasted you in the back of my throat and me upon your lips. I felt your hands cupping my breasts and your fingers tracing my tattoo.

As I opened my eyes, desire growing anew, I saw you watching me, holding your hand to my lips and breathing the scent of our sex. I teased your middle finger with my tongue before taking it in my mouth, still locked in your gaze. You took your hand from me to stroke the inside of my thighs, while parting them slightly. Just enough to allow you to enter me and make me gasp.

"Shhh..." was all you said as you began to slowly slide in and out of me. I began to thrust back, wanting to go faster. But you placed your hands on my hips and held me to your slow, steady pace. Your fingers danced lightly across me, maintaining contact just long enough to leave my skin craving your touch. And your hips continued to rise and fall in slow, deliberate movements. We both knew if you would thrust just a bit harder or just a bit faster, it would push me over the edge. I opened my mouth to plead and you placed your finger on my lips.

"Shhh..." your eyes seeing the plea in mine before I could speak.

My body had begun to tremble in anticipation. You kept the same maddening pace, and leaned to kiss me. As your tongue parted my lips, pleasure washed over me. You kept your mouth on mine, swallowing my ecstatic cries. Still you kept the same pace. Until, quivering beneath you, I took your face in my hands, gazed into your eyes and softly moaned your name. Your face contorted and you pulled me close as you finally let your desire overcome you.

I opened my eyes and it was only when I turned to kiss you, that I realized you weren't here and I had only dreamed I had awoken in your arms.

~Asherah

Fantasy

2004-03-29T21:31:00.000-05:00
In my dreams, you take so many forms. You are the fear that threatens to swallow me, but never follows through before I wake up. You are the tear that never quite forms and therefore never falls. You are the orgasm I never quite achieve. You are, just out of my reach.

I hope you stay there. What would I do with you, if just once, you came within my grasp? Actually, if it was just once, I know all too well what I would do with you.

I would run my fingers slowly through your hair. I would caress your face gently, staring into the abyss behind your eyes. Then I would kiss your full lips that draw me towards them. I would snuggle my head into the crook of your neck and breathe hotly against your neck. Then I would breathe faster and heave my breasts into you with each breath, and I would breathe faster and faster, faster and faster… and then bite your neck. You would want to laugh at the cheesiness of it, but I know just where to bite you to make you tingle all the way to your toes.

I would tease you, a lot. I would grind, smirk, press against, brush against, every trick I have ever learned, I would play. I would make you ache with desire for me, the way I have ached for you for months now. I would suck you, until you almost came, and then I would blow cool air just below the head and down your shaft. I would fuck you, thrusting hard and fast, hard and fast, hard and fast … and then tighten myself and slow down. Then thrust hard and sudden, and again, faster, thrusting hard and fast again… then again, I would tighten my pussy and slow down. I would give you the fuck of your lifetime. And you would learn, like I have learned, that fucking can be artistic and it’s an art worth learning. And after all this, I would snuggle into you. Curling up in your arms, sleeping with my arms around you after we have worn each other to exhaustion.

What I don’t know is, after all that, what I would do with you then. I would like to think that I would want to keep you and you would want to keep me. But I have a habit of losing respect for people once I fuck them. At least I used to, but that may have had something to do with not respecting myself. Maybe that has changed, I am not sure. I am not sure I want you to be my guinea pig. Perhaps then, you should just remain my fantasy.

If you never give in, I can never hurt you.

~Asherah

Brilliance

2004-03-29T07:06:00.000-05:00
holding sunsets more dearly
than the most iridescent sunrise
as I am a creature of night
where all things
dark
mysterious
presumably transcendental
reside

yet it plays on my eyes
like the wind upon your hair
in Prospect Park
telling me all things
brilliant
alive
presumably eternal
lie instead
in its glimmering canopy

that I could merely trust
its laughing rays
and cast off
the moon as my lover
I might find you
unclad against
the noonday sun

- Adetoun

untitled

2004-03-28T23:12:00.000-05:00
When the touch is more than lust
And the words are more than flattery

When your voice fills my mind
While your mouth is on my breast

When your eyes still penetrate my soul
Though my face is buried between your thighs

When your memory evokes for me
Your taste upon my tongue

When I realize I've gone too far
To hide my heart from you

When I understand too late
That I'm in love again

~Asherah

Lifelines

2004-03-28T15:57:00.000-05:00
Spilling out
sweet utterance
crossing satellites
space
that sacred spot
where I find you
between my thighs
your head looking up
as if for approval
my hand on your
wavy lifelines
giving comfort
that you please
that from which might come life
in another lifetime

- Adetoun

Moving Morosely Through

2004-03-25T18:44:00.000-05:00
how I understand nothing
underestimating a world's weight
that I decided to carry
once upon a time
fearing there is no difference
between this pain and that

insignificance
surrounds my self deprecation
opting for another answer
fearing I have already failed
sabotage
maybe

I keep it here
contained within
bleach white walls
stained with signs
of simple living
coffee
cigarette butts
public radio jazz
nothing more

solitary
confined and aligned
with all things morose
tonight

- Adetoun

Why We Had Sex

2004-03-25T04:56:00.000-05:00
I called you because I needed to be held. I asked if that would be okay, if we could just leave it at that – you holding me. I was slightly surprised that you didn’t hesitate to say “Of course.”

So I found my way back to your familiar arms, hoping to find security there. You pulled me close and kissed my hair before whispering “It will be okay, maybe not perfect, but it will be okay.” Only adding “I love you” after a slight pause. I could only nod, so you wouldn’t know I was crying.

I heard your breath quicken. I felt your breasts press into my back with each inhalation. I felt you pull me closer to you. In that moment, I almost left. I almost accused you of not being able to be intimate without sex. I almost failed to realize the truth.

The truth is, you were holding me, just like I asked. You were giving me everything I needed, in spite of your desires. And in that moment I wanted nothing more than to fulfill your desires as willingly as you have always fulfilled my needs.

~Asherah

Waking Up to You This Morning

2004-03-24T10:47:00.000-05:00
Even though I wasn't really sleeping
And even though you weren't really here

It felt like I might have been
It felt like you could have been

And you were just calling to tell me
You kissed me gently before you left

But you were afraid since I was sleeping
I wouldn't remember

So you just called to make sure I knew
You kissed me gently before you left

Even though I wasn't really sleeping
And even though you weren't really here

That's how it feels to know
You thought of me this morning

~Asherah

Things They Don’t Know

2004-03-23T01:27:00.000-05:00
He is not alone in my thoughts
I am thinking of her
And a him that is not he

I want to know him
I want to hold her
I won't forget him

While I remember his hands
I imagine his tongue
And contemplate her taste

Though my thoughts wander
From his lips to his eyes to her smile
It is the touch of my hand
That I feel tonight

~Asherah

Untitled

2004-03-22T04:52:00.000-05:00
Somewhere in the darkness
You are whispering my name
Or I am dreaming yours
It resonates the same
~Asherah

Just a peek...

2004-03-20T03:15:00.000-05:00
Liam listened to Brennigan moan in her sleep and anxiously awaited the moon’s emergence from the clouds that currently absorbed its reflective light. For the third night in a row, Brenn had woken Liam while she whimpered, gasped, and rocked slightly in her sleep. At first he had thought she was doing this for his entertainment because she knew he was something of a voyeur. However, when she never acknowledged his presences next to her, or even opened her eyes, he realized Brenn was still asleep.

Earlier tonight he had struggled to get to sleep, afraid Brenn wouldn’t dream as she had the past two nights. There had been no need to worry, he thought to himself as a soft moan escaped Brennigan’s throat. He was already hard when he awoke to her whimpers and it took self-restrain he didn’t know he had to keep his hands above his waist. God, to just watch her was enough, but the thought of more is what guided him as he gently shifted his weight and stood up out of bed, taking most of the sheet with him. Liam turned to look at Brennigan from his new vantage point and felt desire surge through him. Brenn’s tan body shone with sweat in the moonlight.

“Mmm.. mhmm..” she moaned as she arched her back, turned her head to the left and reached her left arm out on the mattress next to her.

“Ohh...” she exhaled as she splayed her fingers and then spread her legs.

“Thank you, God.” Liam whispered when he saw that the inside of Brenn’s thighs was glistening. He observed how her nipples hardened as a slight breeze came through the window. He yearned to take those taut bits of flesh lightly between his teeth and flick his tongue at them while rolling his teeth gently, ever so gently.

Brenn’s hand slid under her pillow and pulled on it. Her breasts, nipples still erect, rose and fell with every lusty breath she took. Liam could smell the sticky sweet scent of his lover as he watched her hips rock. Hungry, he thought, her cunt looks hungry. He knelt down her and blew softly towards her clit.

“Uh, uh-huh, uh...” Brenn began thrusting her hips into the air violently. Liam responded with quick, hard exhalations directly on her clit. The warmth and perfume of Brenn was intoxicating. Liam’s previously aching desire was now an excruciatingly pleasurable throbbing and the quick breaths were making his lightheadedness turn into dizziness.

Brenn’s orgasm woke her up and before she had opened her eyes, Liam had parted her labia with his thumbs and thrust his tongue inside her. He threw one arm onto her stomach and pinned her as she tried to sit up. He held her down as he licked and sucked her to a state of continuous, rolling orgasm.

Brenn’s head was swimming, unsure if she was awake or asleep. She wiggled then thrashed about, unable to free herself. The pleasure was reaching an intolerable level when Liam pulled his head back and looked at her, his face wet.

“Thank God,” Brenn thought as she closed her eyes to relax, and then gasped as Liam slammed himself inside her. Her toes curled in pleasure as Liam thrust deeper and deeper into her.

Liam watched Brenn’s face contort into one of pained ecstasy and lost all self-control. He bit her shoulder and as Brenn cried out, Liam’s desire exploded into her. The orgasm shook through him, and they lay trembling and intertwined.

“Good morning love” he whispered breathlessly as the sun peeked over the mountains.

~Asherah

Adam's Hands

2004-03-19T05:13:00.000-05:00
The first man incarnate, you were to me a Greek statue made flesh. The skin, the seeking eyes, the form of a marble athlete with a small layer of humanity, and those hands. My god, those hands. The sensual promise of that palm and five digits...

You studied me with your fingertips. As though the secrets of the universe were written in braille upon my body. Your hands, that appeared so unassuming as they ran through your hair, pulled me close and held me tight. Your deft fingers that danced between my thighs with agility and precision.

Your hands that transformed me, as even my most awkwards places became sexy beneath your caress. Your hands that would pull my hair out of my face so you could see me when you kissed me, when I took you in my mouth, when you penetrated deep inside me.

Your hands that never type my name, that no longer pick up the phone, that have stopped reaching for me. Your hands that I feel even now, as I close my eyes and retrace the trail of your last touch.

~Asherah

Atlantic

2004-03-17T22:23:00.000-05:00
the whole of the ocean
the Atlantic
and tides
could be swallowed
by the pure emotion
of this feeling
euphoria
inside my restless being
your eyes offer fascination
inviting another caress
from which my fingertips
can scarcely recover
arriving bewildered
at the shores of reality
to feel your essence
tasting you in my mouth
still
as the waters somewhere
across the Atlantic
steady
as the beat of your heart
where I rest my weary head

- Adetoun

Longing

2004-03-17T21:37:00.000-05:00
a thousand drops
of lily white
rain down upon unfettered mountains
cooling on their peaks
emanating into every crevice

I torture myself
with the image of your face
struggling, writhing
slowly stroking silky rivers
swimming through
the depths of this longing

asking nothing
screaming everything
enwrapping you into me
how wonderful to feel
so immensely alive

- Adetoun

Naked in Bed

2004-03-17T21:17:00.000-05:00
We engage in literary seduction
And I taste you on my lips

Softly whispering your words
Leaves me breathless

Your English language love songs
Elicit an illicit response

Still, I desire the gentle licking
Of your native tongue

Moistening my finger
Before turning the page
Of your poetry that I read
Naked in bed

by Asherah

Excerpt from "The Laugh of the Medusa" by Helene Cixous

2004-03-17T19:55:00.000-05:00
To write. An act which will not only "realize" the decensored relation of woman to her sexuality, to her womanly being, giving her access to her native strength; it will give her back her goods, her pleasures, her organs, her immense bodily territories which have been kept under seal; it will tear her away from the superegoized structure in which she has always occupied the place reserved for the guilty (guilty of everything, guilty at every turn: for having desires, for not having any; for being frigid, for being "too hot"; for not being both at once; for being too motherly and not enough; for having children and for not having any; for nursing and for not nursing...)-- tear her away by means of this reasearch, this job of analysis and illumination, this emancipation of the marvelous text of her self that she must urgently learn to speak.